I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
He? As in you personified your dick?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Randomize
