I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Randomize
