i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
our cab driver is having phone sex.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
