if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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