eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Randomize