I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize