Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
one might say we're banned from that church
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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