Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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