if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
