Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
