break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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