apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
