Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I FOUND THE LEGS
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