Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
