i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
