Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
What a dumb baby whore.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize