I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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