didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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