Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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