I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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