I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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