Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
My vagina just clenched in fear
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize