I just cut my nipple shaving
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
