I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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