Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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