I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Randomize
