I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
