I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Holy sore nipples Batman
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
