I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
it's like heaven, but drunker
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
My feet surprised me
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
