I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
