can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
