in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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