Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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