I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
