so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
