My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
