TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize