I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Randomize
