Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
