Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
