there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
