made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
His hands were made for my vagina.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
