just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
