thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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