none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
