There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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