Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
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