Pappa wants mamma naked
Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Randomize
