redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize