Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Randomize
