it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
