i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
