Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I just spread your mom's ashes with my new girlfriend. I wouldve waited for you to fly home but she was uncomfortable in the house with her remains there. I'll mail you the urn since u handpainted it.
YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ALREADY!?! WTF WE JUST HAD HER FUNERAL 3 WEEKS AGO!!!!!!!!!!!!
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
