just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
