booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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