the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
