You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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