also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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