I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
