new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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