Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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