Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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