id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
