No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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