When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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