I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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