sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
