so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
