my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
