So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
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