The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
