shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
