haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
i think i have two assholes
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
being pregnant is like rehab
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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