ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I can text with my tongue
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize