Sry I called you an 8
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Randomize
