I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
Randomize
