i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
40s are totally the cure
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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