Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
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