What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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