Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
this just has baby written all over it
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Randomize
