She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
