only if we run a train.
done.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
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