it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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