No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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