she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Randomize