I wanna passion pit in your ass
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Randomize
